You 'would' waste your time to not think about this!

I am kind of a weird person when it comes to cliche sayings, I always have to have something to say back to someone who uses cliche sayings. They say something totally expected, I have to say something completely unexpected. But it has gone so far that now such things bug me and I reply to cliche phrases the same way every time, making them totally NOT unexpected. I have sort of brain-washed myself in a sense. Here are a few examples of what I mean:


YOU WOULD SAY THAT
Have you ever said, done, or act dumb in response to someone and they reply "You would say that" or "You would do that!"

To me, and maybe I'm just confused, but "would" is a future tense word... okay I made that up. How about this: "would" is a "conditional verb". If you said this, I would do this.

But this confuses me because the situation sounds more like: You said this, so I would do this. This just doesn't make sense to me.

So what do I say when someone says to me "You would say that!" I just look and them and say "I did say that!"

Simple answers to simply complex problems.


DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT
Okay, so when you are about to do something mean to someone (whether or not you really intend to carry out the action) for example: Throw ice cream at them, spray them with the hose, or push them off a cliff into a pool of boiling lava... what is usually their typical response? For me I often hear "Don't even think about it!"

I don't mean to state the obvious (okay actually I do), but if I threaten to do it... Doesn't it mean I have already thought of it??

Just saying!


STOP WASTING YOUR TIME!
So this I absolutely hate the worst, but for some strange reason adults love to say this. "You are just wasting your time! Stop wasting your time!"

When people say this to me, I honestly have no intention to stop wasting my time. So why bother saying it?

Half the time I enjoy whatever it is I am doing. So is it really wasting my time when I try to enjoy life? We all need sometime to relax, it's just a waste of time to do things... productive.

This would mean that not wasting my time would be a waste of time and wasting my time would not be wasting. Do you follow??

So in truth I don't actually have negative feelings against productivity... oh wait, that's a triple negative... I'm confused (again).

I enjoy getting things done and yeah it's important. But in the end, sometimes I would like to just... waste time!

The First!

Well the world is supposed to end today so I thought... why not start a blog? Logical, right?

Wrong. Because my blog has nothing to do with that! Especially considering the fact that we are half an hour past due. But... I am not sure if they took into account daylight savings so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt?

Anyways, cheers everyone (well at least until Dec 21, 2012)